Blog Every Day in June Day 3 – Chase #BledJ

Today’s prompt is ‘chase.’

To some degree, we all seek that which we do not yet have. The two most common desires that people strive for are usually love and money and if not easily obtainable; the chase begins.

We’ve all been there: the inception of a new romantic interest. It’s a game, a complex minefield of unwritten rules that you attempt to navigate. Finding out each other’s values, needs and boundaries. It’s a time when communication is paramount otherwise you’re left with uncertainty, unease and what ifs. But what if it doesn’t go to plan or they’re just not that into you? The temptation is to chase after your lust and when your feelings aren’t reciprocated you reach the conclusion that they’re just an arsehole. The chase is exciting but exhausting and really not sustainable long term, you’ve got to either catch it or run out of steam which will ultimately end in happiness or tears.

Whether it’s a love interest, your boss that won’t give you that pay rise, family that aren’t pulling their weight or friends who let you down, there’s one sure fire way to avoid disappointment; learn to manage your expectations of others. We all naturally impose our own set of expectations and values on others and when you hit turbulence in relationships it’s usually because your expectations of what’s required don’t align. Person A thinks B is being unreasonable, they’re needy, demanding even. Person B thinks A is unavailable, immature and a bit of a nob head. I’ve learnt the easiest way to avoid the inevitable disappointment is to just lower your expectations of people. Sounds sad but it’s not and here’s why. Your job in a relationship of any kind is not to mould the person into who you want them to be but learn to accept them as they are. People try and try to iron out traits and kinks when you’re fighting a losing battle, people are who they are. It’s just not doable.

Even if someone is not treating you well, messing you around or being unfair, you can’t alter their behaviour. All you can do is learn to expect that of them and accept it. Naive as it may be I believe there are very few people in the world who are truly bad people. Good people can make bad decisions and I truly believe that everything anyone does makes sense when you know enough about them.

It’s worth a thought and may just inform that decision on if the chase is worth it or if it should even continue.

Till tomorrow x

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4 Comments

  1. Everything anyone does makes sense when you know enough about them.

    This is so true! I struggle with a couple of really difficult neighbours, but I try to remind myself that I don’t know what they’ve been through and how much of their behaviour is just coping mechanisms for past trauma.

    Hope your blogging throughout June goes well 🙂 Steven

    Like

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