Today’s word prompt is ‘peace.’
How do we find inner peace? I used to believe I’d only feel this when everything in life had slotted into place, but I’m realising that through 99% of life there’s always something we would change. It’s rare we’re ever completely happy with our lot. I found that the secret to inner peace, is the inner part.
What I’ve learnt is that contrary to our own beliefs, we have very little control over external events. What we do have is control over how we respond to events and how we nurture our own self care and wellbeing. It’s our way of self-regulating our emotions because you can’t rely on anyone else to do this for you. So for me, inner peace is the ability to feel a sense of calm and togetherness no matter what is going on around me. So here are 3 simple tips for helping build resilience and the elusive inner peace:
1. Lower your expectations
I talked about this in this post. I truly feel that relationships of any kind are challenged when the expectations between parties don’t align and we’re left disappointed. Trying to work out people’s motivations for acting a certain way is exhausting. Rather than getting frustrated at people I’ve found it super helpful to remember that everything anyone does makes sense if you know enough about them. Maybe we just don’t know enough!
2. Be as honest as possible
Being truthful is liberating, both with yourself and others. It can be daunting to accept your own reality at times, to stop living in denial of a set of circumstances but accepting what is as the honest version of what is happening is the first step of moving on. We are good at lying to ourselves because it’s easier! When my ex partner left me I told myself it was temporary, he still loved me, it was a blip. Deep down I knew it wasn’t true but I wasn’t honest with myself because it hurt. This ultimately only drew out my pain!
Being honest with others is also the best way forward. Being transparent in you’re feelings can be tough but at least you can never be misunderstood, it’s just about being honest with tact! I’ve recently employed this approach with my boss and I’ve felt SO much better for it. Carrying unspoken truths is hard work!
3. Find a positive focus of attention
When we’re stressed it’s so easy for thoughts and worries to spiral out of control. It can be useful to have a distraction at hand that’s known to work for you. Even if your thoughts are in check, having a positive focus or hobby to nourish improves our mood and self esteem whether it’s a sport, a book or a piece of music. Focussing on the present moment and being mindful of how you are experiencing right now can lessen the burden of the weight of what’s happened in the past or what may happen in future. For me, if I need to I know one of the best things to do is to get in my car, go for a drive in the country and listen to my songs. My favourite artist of all time, City and Colour, is my go to and I usually start off with the song below. The lyrics resonate with me and it’s just an absolute tune!
Till tomorrow x